I haven’t slept very much this week…

What an odd thought.

I sit here, connected to you as your lifeline. You’ve been in the outside world for mere weeks; but before that you were a part of me, growing and changing before we had even met. Now here you are - a social security card carrying member of society. A still helpless little being, laying in my arms as you feed on what I can provide of myself.

As I look down at your tiny nose, the dusting of hair on your head, your bitsy little fingernails, my mind floods with the strangest truth. Someday, you will be old. Much older than me. Hopefully much older than your grandparents are today. You will be old, looking back at a life well lived and I will be gone- long gone in the tangible sense - and you will be facing your own exit.

The hours I will spend up this night with you will feel long, but your entire timeline is still magnificently dwarfed by just the modern history that I know well. These minutes can stretch yet weeks flash by like lightning. Our combined existences are epic and beautiful yet I can see all the way to the end of us both without straining my eyes.

We are here in this moment and in some sense exist for eternity by the nature of our participation today. But there will come a time that I am not here. There will come a time that the parts of me within you also cease to be here. Whether those parts continue on halved again and again remains to be seen. But it’s undeniable that the intensity of your formation is just a blip on the radar when we zoom out.

it’s amazing that such a small body is the biggest thing I will ever create.